Today NXP stole Brett Favre’s cell phone, unzipped, and snapped some quick pics of their new 0.9×1.0x0.35mm logic packages and leaked them to the press. These extremely thin logic gates are apparently ideal for use in “leading-edge portable devices such as smartphones, tablets and SD cards where chip and board space are at a premium.”
Not having advanced degrees in agriculture, donut-making, or philosophy, S|A’s team of scientists has been unable to determine what the device actually does. Near as we can tell, once soldered onto the PCB of your smart phone, it siphons off a small piece of your soul every time you send a TXTSPK word or emoticon and sends it over AT&T’s network to a holding drum in Steve Jobs’ basement. NXP has reportedly sold over two billion of these packages which means that El Jobso likely has enough soul saved up to instantly grow his beard back and time-travel back to the 70’s to relive the glory days.
Experiments are currently underway in the S|A labs attempting to intercept this soul transmission and confirm or disprove our hypothesis. If successful it could have profound implications for parents trying to figure out what is wrong with their teenagers.
If you would like to help us discover the true function of these miniature plastic encased devices, you can check out the original press release here, or simply text us all your LOLs, ROFLs, OMGs, and C U L8Rs. Our lab technicians are standing by.S|A
Editor’s note: We hear the ghost of Christmas Past is teaming up with the RIAA to block imports of this new technology.