IF YOU ARE sick and tired of slogging along with your wimpy 4-core Nehalem laptop, Ace Computer has a solution for you, the 8-core Xeon 5500 (Beckton) based Ace Raptor 5 Server Workstation AC-Raptor55V. Yes, some insane company just put an Intel 8-core Becton server chip in a laptop, let’s hear it for wretched excess.

Ace’s 8-core Becton Laptop

We don’t have any more info on this yet, but this company has what it claims is a Becton laptop. It may be about as sleek as a panel van, and battery life probably rates in multiple tens of minutes, but, um, it is one heck of an e-penis measuring stick.

Realistically, I can’t see anyone using this as a laptop, more as a portable workstation for presentations that are within reach of a power plug and require complex real time CAD tweaks. For anything else, you are much better off with a mobile Nehalem. That said, I want one.S|A

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Charlie Demerjian

Roving engine of chaos and snide remarks at SemiAccurate

Charlie Demerjian is the founder of Stone Arch Networking Services and SemiAccurate.com. SemiAccurate.com is a technology news site; addressing hardware design, software selection, customization, securing and maintenance, with over one million views per month. He is a technologist and analyst specializing in semiconductors, system and network architecture. As head writer of SemiAccurate.com, he regularly advises writers, analysts, and industry executives on technical matters and long lead industry trends. Charlie is also a council member with Gerson Lehman Group. FullyAccurate

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